Spiritual Intimacy

'Prayer requires more of the heart than of the tongue' - Adam Clarke

The subject of prayer in Christian circles has been one of much activity in recent years. With the surge of such ministries as International House of Prayer in Kansas City and 24-7 Prayer out of England there has been a resurgent focus on the importance of prayer as a furnace offering to The Lord. Conferences around the world are once again blasting the message of the importance of prayer to the life of the believer.

But there is a subtle danger in all of this, as Adam Clarke so eloquently states in his quote referenced above. Adam Clarke was a close friend of John Wesley's and the executor of his estate when he died. His commentary on the Bible has been an immense blessing to me, however I would caution against the abridged version by Ralph Earle which I do not feel kept the integrity of Adam's original writings and in some places were clearly changed.

Prayer is not the business of the tongue, it is not a place where we put in our time, and it is not something we do. Prayer is something we are because true and genuine prayer is something of the heart. As we examine Scripture we find the first reference to prayer was actually not until roughly 1500 years had gone by since creation. What on earth did all those patriarchs do if they did not 'pray'? Well, I argue that they embodied the heart of God that was passed along to them by Adam. Remember, Adam walked in the Garden with God, and he lived 930 years after the fall! I made a chart, following the genealogy given to us in Genesis to help keep track of who was alive when in the patriarchs to Noah's day. By following the chart, we see that Adam was alive when Enoch 'was no more' and was around when Noah's father was a young man. I believe Adam passed along the experiences he had with God in those days in the Garden of Eden. Strangely enough, but of notable coincidence, is that the last patriarchs died a matter of years prior to the Flood. Clearly, God took them before that great and terrible day.

What we find from these men is the same wording used of Adam, they walked with God. Let's work through Genesis 5, and start with the first verses 'When God created mankind, he made them in the likeness of God. He created them male and female and blessed them. And he named them “Mankind” when they were created.' As The Lord presents the genealogy to us it is important to Him to remember 'he made them in the likeness of God'. As we already established that likeness is specifically for their fellowship, connection and intimacy with Him. We read of Enoch in verse 24 that 'Enoch walked faithfully with God; then he was no more, because God took him away.' Again the reference is to walking with God. As we transition to Genesis 6 and the account of Noah we read in verse 9 'Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked faithfully with God. ' Again, a reference to walking with God. And at this point, we have recounted roughly 1500 years of history.

In the first few verses of Genesis 6 there is a disturbing account which we have addressed already that the generality of mankind was not 'walking with God' but away from Him. In his foundational book titled 'The Genesis Flood', Henry L. Morris states that the earth population at the time of the flood was close to 1 billion people! That was shocking and almost unbelievable to me until I followed his example of compound math. I will leave it to the reader to determine their own convictions on this, but I am convinced he is very much on to something. The patriarchs who were walking with God were trying to walk with God, but had ended up as rejected prophets in their own day. How do I say that? Jude 1:14-15 makes it very clear to us 'Enoch, the seventh from Adam, prophesied about them: “See, the Lord is coming with thousands upon thousands of his holy ones to judge everyone, and to convict all of them of all the ungodly acts they have committed in their ungodliness, and of all the defiant words ungodly sinners have spoken against him." However Jude received this information is a mystery but one thing is clear - Enoch was a rejected prophet. He walked with God in a day when most did not. He aligned his heart with God's and knew what real prayer was all about.

The first mention we have of the word 'prayer' in the Bible is actually from the most unlikely source - an unnamed servant of Abrahams! When Abraham needed a wife for his son Isaac, he sent his servant out to find a wife for him. And that servant is recorded as praying (our first record of a 'prayer' in Genesis 24:12. He prayed 'Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham.' I find it interesting that the first prayer we have recorded in the Bible is by one who himself doesn't even acknowledge service or knowledge of God himself! The prayer is to the God of my master Abraham. God answered that prayer on behalf of Abraham, who had a very close relationship with God. Three different places in Scripture God refers to Abraham as his friend:
2 Chronicles 20:7 'Our God, did you not drive out the inhabitants of this land before your people Israel and give it forever to the descendants of Abraham your friend?'
Isaiah 41:8 'But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, you descendants of Abraham my friend.'
James 2:23 'And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called God’s friend.'

In short, it is clear that Abraham also walked with God as he was credited as being a friend of God's. Moving on down the patriarchs we read in Exodus 33:11 'The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend.' The patriarchs all understood the desire of God's heart. His desire is for intimacy with us, to be connected to us and be friends with us. There is a distinct difference between those who understand and practice this and those who do not in the realm of the followers of God. It is entirely possible to serve God to some capacity and never enter into this issue of intimacy with Him where we walk with Him, have fellowship with Him and are friends of God.

There is a vast world of difference between spiritual intimacy with God and prayer. To understand this more, we need only look at the marital union and apply the same principles. What would happen in a marriage if a man and a woman were not developing true intimacy but just set apart times 'to talk'. Can we not agree that the counseling rooms are filled with couples suffering from this very condition? Try to schedule time with the one you love and then communicate very little with them the rest of the day and see what happens. The relationship grows cold, sterile and distant. Smith Wigglesworth once said 'I never pray for more than 30 minutes at a time, yet I never go for more than 30 minutes without prayer.' Now that, is a man who had some revelation of this issue of friendship with God.

What does prayer look like for most of us? What we are doing in the prayer time? Most of all, what are we feeling? Real prayer, that moves the heart of God can come only from our heart. The art of intimacy is one heart moving another. You will never reach intimacy with words or actions. You reach intimacy when you can use words or actions from your heart to connect with another's heart. And that is the issue of prayer. Real prayer is based on the concept that our heart yearns for his fellowship, it desires to know him more, and it is willing to do anything to have that.

We find The Lord teaching about prayer in Matthew 6:5-15 in the Sermon on the Mount. We can sum up the principle of this great sermon of Christ's by saying he is consistently and fervently ignite the heart to action. That the entire idea of prayer, fasting, mercy and acts of righteousness can only be of real value when they come from the deep place of a heart moved by the right motives. And in turn, that the entire force of sin can only be stopped when it is dealt with in the heart. The Sermon on the Mount is a clarion call to awaken the heart.

And as He begins his directive regarding prayer he does so in the most surprising manner. We read 'And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.'

It is important to notice that he starts off with a rebuke against empty prayer and makes a quick transition to call for intimate prayer. This is the heart of Jesus. He is saying, in essence, if you want to experience effective and meaningful prayer, you have to come back to the heart of it. And the heart of it is going to be experienced here in this secret place of the heart where no one else can see but God. That is where you walk with God, that is where you know friendship with Him and that is where you will experience the true intimacy your soul longs for.

Jesus makes a few distinctions for us to help us define what real prayer is to him:
1. Real prayer is not done for any other motive than to know God and to be known by Him. It does not seek the approval of others, it does not do it as part of a program or a religious culture.
2. Real prayer is not a progression of words. It involves the true dynamics of communication such as listening, trust, and the connecting of hearts. If you want to approach prayer as something that you do rather than something you are, you will miss the beauty of it. Real prayer is spiritual intimacy, it is our hearts connecting with God's. Real prayer is walking with God. It is friendship with God.

Let me make a clear distinction that Jesus was not condemning public prayer in his teaching. Far from it, Jesus himself prayed in public. But what he wanted to emphasis was that you can't possibly expect to connect with God in public if you are not connecting with him in private. I believe God desires us to pray all the more in public, but God forbid we ever exchange our private time for a public only time. I believe that is what he was getting at with the rebuke he gave. These people (religious leaders of the day) did not have any private heart fellowship with The Lord, but were excellent orators publicly. They sounded so good they were able to captivate others with what seemed like a moving and beautiful prayer. However, inside they were empty of any real fellowship with him. How the very thought of it horrifies me, that I would appear so good at prayer with others when I really have no knowledge of him at all. I can hardly imagine anything worse.

Growing up as a young believer, I was mentored that 'quiet time' with The Lord was a necessity for any Christian. Those who discipled me checked in regularly to make sure I was keeping that time consistently each day. I think it can be a good discipline, but the danger of any discipline is that we loose the heart of it, that instead of developing intimacy we are comforting our conscience or performing our duty.

I grew up being mentored by some very strong men spiritually. Some of them are very well known for their teaching on prayer and the heart of God. One of them would talk regularly about the many hours a day he spent in prayer. Being a competitive person, I was determined to spend more time in prayer. I followed his model and set apart my prayer time into intercessory, reciting scripture and making requests to God. For well over a year, I consistently managed 5 hours a day in private prayer. And my head grew rather large from it. I will never forget a moment that may seem offensive, but was one of the best things to ever happen to me. As I sat for my prayer time I heard the clearest audible voice of The Lord say to me 'Chris, I want you to sit down, shut up and not say anything for the next 4 hours.' I was appalled! First, I didn't think it was possible for God to talk to us like that and second I didn't understand why he would say something like that. I was 21, and sitting still for 4 hours was not something that seemed at all fulfilling or even possible. However, I followed what I heard and it wasn't to far past an hour when I fell asleep for a while. The silence was killing me. But in those moments I realized I was one of those men who thought he would be heard for his many words.

It revolutionized my prayer life, and I began to treasure silence. Just time to ponder and reflect on The Lord. I meditated on Scripture and occasionally I would just ask The Lord to explain something to me, or help me to understand something. Then I gradually progressed to just telling The Lord how wonderful he was. My words transformed from something I did to something I became - I became one who truly adored God and wanted to know him. What a profound difference that made in my life! For over 25 years now that has been my model. Like Smith Wigglesworth, I don't have to sit for hours every day to have my prayer time. Some days I just sit for 15-20 minutes and treasure The Lord in my heart. Some days there are those moments of hours alone with him just treasuring him and talking with him. And I can safely say there is barely an hour where I have not been in communication with him. That is what walking with God is, it means he is right there by our side and we interact with him as if he were. Sure we quote the scriptures that God is with us and in us but we don't act like it!

This is a particularly hard topic to cover because how do you describe and lay out a pattern for intimacy? It is an issue of the heart, and as proverbs makes clear, two people can say the same words or do the same actions from entirely different motives. One person may be able to spend a few hours in intercession and talking because that is what God has called them to do. Another may sit for hours and say nothing at all. I have friends of whom both is true, and they each walk with God in their own way. The moment you begin to tell people what to do in prayer is like the moment that you are trying to teach a man how to have sexual intimacy with his wife. I can give you general frameworks, but each of us are different and we need to be true to our hearts and who God has created us to be.

With that said, let us examine the framework that Jesus laid for us in verses 9-15 in the Lords Prayer. Here is the breakdown of his famous prayer and the posture of our hearts that he is desiring:
1. Our Father who is in Heaven - as we approach God let us never forget who he is and who we are. Any genuine friendship with God always has this in proper perspective. Being a friend of God does not mean that you are more important, indispensable, or not in need of a Savior. Remember that God has called you and desired friendship and fellowship with you, and it is him who has paid the price you and I could never pay. We are deeply indebted to him, forever! He is God, Holy and Pure and yet he amazingly wants us to call him Abba, Papa! What an intimate term! Our hearts should always keep him set apart as special, dear and treasured. Real prayer with him will foster that. Fake prayer will give us the illusion of that.

2. Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven - A true friend of God is concerned with his Kingdom, not their own. They are denying self, laying down their will and seeking God's will in all they do. True intimacy with God means that you are yearning, longing and aching for him to come and for his will to be done. You are carrying his burdens, you are desiring his will, you have become one who is deeply treasuring what he treasures. His heart has moved yours, and in turn, your heart moves him.

3. Give us this day our daily bread - Jesus is the bread as he set out in the Communion sacrament we participate in. True intimacy means we cannot go a day without him. We are driven to be with him, know he is near us and walk with him. We realize each and every day that without Christ we are hopeless and helpless. He is our Saviour, He is our Life and He is our Righteousness. He is our One Thing! If we are truly walking with him it means we cannot go for very long without missing him. It means that if we are faced with sin we sense his presence there to help us resist it. It means that if we stumble, we know where to run. We know his arms are open wide to us to sanctify us for deeper fellowship with him.

4. Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors - Any true and genuine prayer and intimacy with God will make us realize in an increasing way the power of forgiveness. We will be marveling at mercy, forever indebted, and the awareness of what he has done for us will overwhelm us with gratitude. I find it interesting here that Jesus brings in a human relational dynamic into this part of the prayer. It is no accident. Jesus told us something in a story that reveals his heart about this. We read just prior to this portion in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5:23-24 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift." Jesus is describing being in the place of prayer and remembering that someone feels you need to repent for something go and take care of it before you even finish your prayer time! Forgiveness towards others is essential because without it we hinder a genuine revelation of God in our lives. And equally true, not repenting for things we know we need to will hinder our prayer life. Repentance and forgiveness with others are essential in cultivating and growing any level of intimacy with God.

5. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one - the word temptation here is a curious translation because the word literally means 'sore trial' or 'pierce through'. It literally means, bring us through great trials and save us from being overcome in them. As a friend of God's, and one who walks in true intimacy with him you can expect to be resisted. You can expect the enemy to bring discouragement, fear, anxiety, and suffering. As I mentioned before, the book of Job is the first book actually written in the Bible. Job is the only man we have a recording of God boasting on His throne about until we hear him open the heavens and proclaim 'this is my son with whom I am well pleased' about Jesus. There are written praise accounts of Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Moses, David and others but this man Job was set apart in his walk with God. And we see, how the devil was literally scratching at the ground to take him out and throw everything he could at him. Your knowledge of The Lord will be tested, it will be tried and it will be challenged. After the trial Job realized his knowledge of The Lord was one dimensional before and had grown exponentially through the suffering and affliction As one who wants to be a friend of God's, who wants true fellowship and intimacy with him you have to expect to suffer great loss in your life. It is inevitable. But lean on The Lord during these times and press into him. He will deliver you, and you will come through the other side knowing him in a much deeper and profound way!

6. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins - I know this isn't included in the prayer outline in most Bibles, but it is clearly part of the passage. It is imperative we do not separate it because it is part of his instruction on prayer. Jesus makes it very clear that true prayer and genuine fellowship with God can only happen on the grounds of forgiveness. Our realization of his forgiveness of us will lead us to forgive others, without exception! I quote the well worded comments of Adam Clarke regarding this passage,

'"Trespasses" - paraptwmata, from para and piptw, to fall off. What a remarkable difference there is between this word and ofeilhmata, debts, in ver. 12 (forgive us our DEBTS)! Men's sins against us are only their stumblings, or fallings off from the duties they owe us; but our's are debts to God's justice, which we can never discharge. It can be no great difficulty to forgive those, especially when we consider that in many respects we have failed as much, in certain duties which we owed to others, as they have done in those which they owed us.'

Our realization of this issue of forgiveness is the first and most important one in having any intimacy or fellowship with God. The Bible makes it undeniably clear that if we feel the right to hold mens trespasses and stumbling against them, we have not really experienced his forgiveness. That does not mean we do it lightheartedly and with no struggle. I have endured ridiculous injury and pain from those I have loved and cherished the most. But the moment I feel the right to hold on to it, the claim to have justice or restitution from them is the moment I have missed the entire heart of God towards me. Remember, intimacy is the force of one heart connecting with another. We can never have intimacy with God if we do not first get a hold of this issue of forgiveness and mercy!

Remember my story earlier about sitting for 4 hours in silence? When I sat alone for those hours in the silence I was faced with all of my dark thoughts, and things I didn't even know were there. I was shocked and horrified at offenses, pain and sinful temptations that were running through my mind. How much easier it would have been in that moment to talk and shut it off. I wanted to read scripture, pray for someone, anything but face that! Especially in time I was supposed to be having with God!! But this is where my heart was broken - God was beckoning me to bring it all to him. He already knew about it, he just wanted me to be vulnerable and be real. And when I did, I wept, I wept bitterly. I cried all that sin into his merciful heart and we had more fellowship that day than all those hundreds of hours I had spent there in the year previous to that.

God is looking across the earth today for those who will sit in the silence with him, who will be vulnerable and real with him. It is the way we experience forgiveness. We have to face our sin, our offense, and our darkness in our prayer time. I wish I could say that spiritual intimacy meant you could have heavenly visitations and moments in the glory cloud, but real and lasting intimacy is going to be built first and foremost on the intimacy we experience in confessing our sin, being vulnerable about our weakness and receiving his forgiveness.

Other times, like the one in Jesus story, we may remember that we have offended someone, or they are upset at us. He may have us stop our prayer time and go get right with that one. And that is all appropriate because intimacy is relationship - it is a growing and vibrant interaction between you and him. As we go through our day, we find Paul instructing us to 'pray continually' and what does he mean except this very thing we are talking about - of walking with God.

I believe in day and night prayer and worship, I love the prayer room and spend several hours there a week. But when I leave and I am at the coffee shop, the grocery store or working those moments are just an extension of relationship with him. Every day I wake up and I thank God for another day to serve him and walk with him. I wonder what we are going to do that day. But that doesn't mean that every day I am upbeat and jovial. Even this morning before writing this I struggled with depression and was on the verge of tears most of the day. But I involve him in that, I talk to him about it, and I ask him for help. I thank him and yesterday I laid in bed for probably close to an hour and just thanked him for everything I could think of to thank him for.

Walking with God doesn't mean we are perfect, that we say the right things or that we pray long enough. It means we take relationship with God seriously, and we make our Christianity a lifestyle of relationship with him. Spiritual intimacy is the same principles we have addressed previously. It means we are vulnerable and real with him, that we receive and express mercy and that we trust God and want to be trustworthy to him. It means that we desire to know his heart and that we want him to really know ours. We understand he already does, but he wants our voluntary opening of that heart to him, the surrender of the will and the deliberate offering of all that we are for fellowship with him. David is recorded as a 'man after God's heart', and it is the only such instance we have in Scripture of this term. I have devoted the entire next chapter to this because I believe it is crucial for us to understand.